P e r c e p t i o n is a tricky thing.I was reminded of how indefinite it can be when I was watching a movie the other night. There was a scene where a few characters where running in fear from a flying adversary. The runaways were grasshoppers and the chaser was a bird.
I've been in and out of so many reflections that it is hard for me to clearly draw the line around the obstacles and pick up what could have been the best moments of my life. Growing up, I never thought about perception. It just never came up in conversations at the cafeteria table or at home around our steaks and potatoes. But I think I assumed that everything could be lumped into two boxes: good and bad. I admit, it worked for me for a long time because I was a simple girl who thought simple things and liked to simplify the world.
Once in film school, I realized that there is more to the picture than heads or tails. And the answer is more than a guess but it's so easy to get caught up in the first take… So I learned to split things open and dissect parts of the whole as though everything was a crime scene investigation. Every little detail was important as it suggested to me how it affected the heart of the matter. I can tell you, truthfully, that such an experience, when you get the chance to see the mechanics behind the big picture, your perception is altered forever. You cannot forget about it. You cannot go back to the previous view and there is no coming out of it. It stays with you, in everything you do and all that you witness.
It's not an exercise that I disliked. I found myself more and more intrigued by the possibilities of what lay beneath. Might have gone a little mad in the process. Trying to simplify my world is still part of my daily routine but digging for truth remains my gasoline. So easily I forget what is important to me then fall back on the chair in the corner, wearing a pointy hat. My finger is half inked because half of me will never betray my mind and the other half cannot hold on to everything my mind wants to keep.