Labels: artform, conversations, journey, LikeHearted, suspicious activity here, titles

Dear Charlie,

I am so glad you have found it, that thing that exists even when it is imperceptible to everyone. Yet, somehow, you found it. 

There is no way to tell our bones to bend. That’s not something bones do. That’s not why bones grow so strong with conviction. Perhaps that’s just the way they were programmed. Poor things have no clue how to grow any other way.

Above my dinning table, a painting lies. The boy should be looking up, my friend told me. The boy in the frame. She painted it, so she should know. But the boy trapped inside it looks like he’s resting this way; laying on his bed with his head gently resting in the emptiness of the edge. Like I’ve done so many times. Otherwise, he’s sitting on a chair, looking up in an awkward way.

What a nightmare! To spend eternity sitting on a chair! In a frame, or on a train, always sitting. Watching and waiting for something to happen, to change the landscape. A chair can be very helpful. A chair for waiting out the blizzard. A chair to be taller. A chair to listen to other chairs in a circle. A chaise longue to express your fears in a safe space. I prefer a bed.

(An October bed is a trap. Coming home is terribly dangerous when it is dark with October hours. A terribly glauque homecoming, to keep the company of someone who never remembers you. Yet, somehow, finds you, over and over again. Perhaps by mistake. Perhaps not. A running gag, as they say. An opportunity to match two cards? The grasshopper and the ant. Am I the rich one? Who’s rich enough to know the difference? Who’s the poor ol’ boy who can’t mute everyone’s thoughts? And how kind is he in the face of all that information? Is it a crime to think these thoughts? Is it a crime to want to ignore them? Snooze. Snap!)

These temporary things that stretch over us like constellations of roots keep us up at night. Sitting up right and waiting for that moment... a bored volcano, indeed. Be a mountain! It’s all downhill from here, eh Charlie?

Hold on.

Labels: conversations, Dear Charlie, design, DNA, experiment, humans, musical, please feel secure, social

Labels: conversations, curiosities, duck duck, echo, experiment, wave

COST/BENEFIT ANALYSIS:

Labels: conversations, numbers, one-liner, suspicious activity here

I missed Wiretap this afternoon but it was a nice surprise to see that there are more audio clips of the show up on the official site.


Now listening to: Family Album on cbc.ca

Labels: conversations, radio

Part one:

Sweet room temperature wind... walking around the port today, going to visit the key master, I put one foot in front of the other. Without sunglasses, I thought of this last day of summer like the beginning of a new year. A new cycle with more ideas to tend to.

I also spent some time outside on the weekend. But most of it was spent in my living room, with my keyboard, my mic and this computer. I started working on what was to be a very short film, but after four hours, my computer froze and I was left with only 33 seconds of edited footage.

I will have to archive most of my folders and remove some programs (like Myst4) in order to give it another try.

Sunday breakfast with friends was nice, as always. There were stories to tell, one that included a thief that chooses to steal some weird ikea-like deco art (a white ceramic fist) instead of a dvd-player. We talked about my trip... I don't know if I will end up going. All this "plan ahead" business is giving me stomach aches. We also talked about my ability to step into someone else's state of being and articulate their feelings with words. (Look up sweetheart. (Header) If you weren't there, I wouldn't be here.)



I saw this movie friday. I want to see it again. Here is my favourite scene. ( I actually recorded it so I could listen to it on the bus tomorrow morning...)

Labels: conversations, film, folk, video

Ricky is a young man living in Montreal. He has dark hair and eyes, is thin and likes to drink coffee. I met Ricky today, for the first time. We met at a coffee shop. Two strangers, face to face.

A week ago or so, I sent out a message in a bottle, asking for a genie. Well he appeared when summoned and granted me one wish. Or was it a vision? This is part of what he wrote, some lines in the sand:

She is a beautiful soul like me. A keen observer of the world and our habits. An adventurer who understands that we must peer outside to really know what the temperature is like inside. His bloodstream is filled with nicotine and caffeine as mine is. I do it to cope with the terrors in my head. I can't say for sure if she feels the same. I drew a map of our conversation and future conversations to be had, locations on the map included the phrase "we are semi-automatic"a question mark, the internet, coffee shops to discuss more, and courage. Lots of squiggly lines connecting these things. There was much laughter breathed onto this map, and like a raincloud, it hovers over it and makes me smile to look over.

We discussed the internet, decided we love it and need to have a talk with the internet to help it improve itself. Its becoming slightly arrogant and needs a reality check. We discussed people and automatic responses and our laziness and fears. We talked about courage and what it is? She said we lack balls. I agree. I said its a courageous act to travel to the unknown. She asked if a soldier is courageous. I thought of my dad and moving to Canada with little money to start a new life with two young children and his courage to do so.

I start my own adventures. The rest, what happens next, I swear I could not invent it any better myself, if I was handed that control.

Read Ricky's journal entry here.

Labels: conversations, experiment, theory, titles

Y: I don't know... Sometimes I tell my self that all this is pointless... All in the end to do what? And... all in the "middle"/"midst of" to do what?

X: Well, I'm not a stranger to any of those feelings. All I can say is that my place is open if you want to crash over any time and that you shouldn't try to analyze any relationship. it kills anything that could be in the process... I’ve learned that the hard way. So now I try to go with the flow of things and appreciate people for who they are and not what they could be (what almost drove me crazy). That is all bullshit in the end because it seems my relationships keep changing anyways. So, no, there is no use in seeking out any relationship. But yea, knowing what you want and don't in your life is the best thing that you could ever figure out, no matter what. Like I’ve told someone previously, maybe life is a process of elimination? And that is why I got this black band on my finger, to not forget what I’ve learned about what I do and what I don't (I can easily forget when smitten).

Y: What do you mean by "you shouldn't try to analyze any relationship. It kills anything that could be in the process"?

X: Because being anal about anything kills any kind of special connection that is being made with people around you. I don’t care that David could be this or that, I know I can’t be with him romantically but know that I want him in my life as a friend. If I sit and analyze the shits out of our relationship, I could take him and myself too seriously and not see what is good in any of it. Just recognizing what I want and don't want takes the pressure away from analyzing any further. Am I making any sense? Dissecting is overanalyzing life. There is no fucking need for it. A frog is a frog. It is green and it hops around. It's good in it's own way. It's not good in it's own way also. I should just see[understand] it for what it is and decide if I want/like it or not. But it is not the frog’s problem if I decide I do not want it... unless it jumps on my plate. Then, I have to figure out a way to deal with that when and if it happens. Not before hand. Why bother overanalyzing what could be? Is that any clearer?

Y: Yes I think.

Labels: conversations